4 criteria for marriage in islam

Islam emphasizes the importance of Marriage. Anyway, being religious and pious is the basic condition and quality of a suitable spouse and there must be a thorough enquiry and contemplation about it before marriage takes place. 'Beauty' is not considered one of the basic and independent factors in marital life, rather it is a 'quality of perfection' which if accompanied by fundamental and basic qualities has worth, otherwise no! If they satisfy and please each other from this aspect, they would be thankful to each other and put their duties and responsibilities into practice and tolerate the odds of life. For instance, the one whose degree is 20 on one scale shall not have a comfortable life with someone who is located at 80 degrees on the same scale (a difference of 60 degrees). This characteristic is so important that without it no other criteria is worthy of attention. For instance, they might not have ideological, moral and physical co-ordination, homogeneity and harmony. And if he loves a thing, then everything, which leads to it and reminds him of it is likes by him. If there exists a condition of neither love nor hatred and the fact that whether they love or hate each other remains ambiguous, then a final decision must not be taken; rather the plan of chapter 6 should be carried on until ultimately it is known that thy like each other or not. It then becomes the family that can provide society with good citizens who know their rights and duties, help build up their society and most of all serve their religion. But if this energy is lacking, then they should fail to combat the odds of life and perform their heavy duties and carry this trust to the destination. And a believing slave is better than a polytheist, even though he might please you. Answer Praise be to Allah. The daughter told her that Umar, the Commander of the believers, forbade that, but the mother insisted, saying that she was in a place where Umar and his deputy could not see her. Anyway, the correct way and answer to the question is as follows: seek advice, mediation, and investigation and sending a messenger, then we carry on with the final phases (writing a letter, sending pictures, direct conversation, seeing each other) until we reach a point of decision. Love is and elixir of prosperity, which gives hope to sad depressed hearts and turns coldness and frigidity into fervently warm emotions. At last the delegate of Allah came to take his soul as if the death delegate of Allah too thanked and praised her, since only a few hours before the angel's arrival she had bathed and cleaned him up and changed his clothes; as if she wanted to send a bridegroom toward his wedding chamber. Of course, a hundred percent proportionality is not possible, but the closer they are and the less of a distance, the better. One of the traps into which most of the youth fall and usually can not escape is that they discover, before the marriage's execution, that they do not like each other (or one of them does not like the other) and they want to avoid the marriage, but the family members and their friends say Now you marry and afterwards love will be created! These inexperienced youths, having believed in their word, marry and thereafter not only love is not created, but also with each passing day their mutual scorn and hatred increases miseries surround them. A religious woman always keeps away from whatever enrages Allah The Almighty or dishonors her husband. Do not forget the final point of the sixth chapter; that is step by step and with patience and perfect caution. Even the walls and doors of the house reflect beauty, charm and freshness, and the atmosphere of the home is attractive, hopeful and refreshing. That is to say, whom may we select as a spouse? For instance, Allah farmed some authorities and specified duties for the Prophet (S) so that nobody else except him was bound and obliged to perform them, (such as the obligatory night service, his guardianship and superiority in all matters over the Muslims and non Muslims, the number of marriages allowed and many other things). Selection of Spouse | Islamic Marriage Handbook | Al-Islam.org , And when you said to him to whom Allah had shown favor and to whom you had shown a favor: Keep your wife to yourself and be careful of (your duty to) Allah; and you concealed in your soul what Allah would bring to light, and you feared men, and Allah had a greater right that you should fear Him. Of course, this quality must be considered along with other qualities and peculiarities. It only takes a minute to sign up. The cookie is set by the GDPR Cookie Consent plugin and is used to store whether or not user has consented to the use of cookies. At last, her patience came to an end, and she could not no longer tolerate and stand his bad, evil character and unwise conduct and finally left him. Do these specimens not contradict and undermine the standards of spouse selection in the above discussion? [She is] a righteous woman, who pleases him when he looks at her, preserves his honor when he is away from her and acts in accordance with what he asks of her., The best that benefits a believer, after [possessing] the fear of Allah The Almighty, is a pious wife who minds what he bids her, pleases him when he looks at her, helps him fulfill his oath and protects her chastity and his property in his absence.. Allama had a simple and ascetic life and their house was a rented one; yet his wife, for all her worth and regard was convinced about Allama's course of knowledge and research and accompanied him with utmost forbearance, affection, and fortitude until the end of his life. The man should have married a knowledge loving, studious lady of research, and the women should have married a man of worldly living, entertainments and material enjoyment. 4 Answers Sorted by: 3 Edit: Prophet Muhammad said, A woman (or man) may be married for four things: for her wealth, for her noble descent, for her beauty or for her religion. As you know, I have no wife, so [I believe] I am more entitled to marry her. Umar sent someone to propose to the milk sellers daughter on behalf of his son and the two soon married. The two heart of the loving couple are full of sentiment and love, beating for each other. In this manner we keep the standards described in chapter 5 in view and start following the guide plan of chapter 6. His lips sometimes moved and he prayed for her. Now the question raises about the boy and the girl who did not see and know each other before marriage, or even if they knew one another, there was no attachment and affiliation between them (as they did not have any intention to marry) and now they have made up their minds to take steps regarding proposal and investigation (into each other's characters etc), how is possible that all of a sudden love should be developed in their hearts? The distance and lack of homogeneity might be compensated for and made good by mutual understanding, love, forbearance and magnanimity. And this is the legal right of a person to accept or reject a proposal. A moment of negligence may be followed by life-long repentance and sorrow. The Prophet (S) said about the virtues and qualities of a suitable and decent spouse: . God also has guided us to the best way to regulate this instinct. The youth who finds keenness, vigour and talents in respect of problems of knowledge and learning, and wishes to lead a life of knowledge and research must be attentive to this point when starting the search for a spouse. 1- Asking Beneficence and Guidance From Allah: 2- The Commonly Known And Current Omen In Our Society, A Sorrowful Specimen of Misunderstanding the Omen, Crossing the Slippery Road! Performance cookies are used to understand and analyze the key performance indexes of the website which helps in delivering a better user experience for the visitors. Regrettably, in the wake of the spouse selection problem, conventional goodness is usually taken as sufficient and less attention is paid to the equity and balance between the boy and the girl; whereas this is the axis and pivot of the standard of spouse selection. Evil women (are) for evil men, and evil men (are) for evil women. The real and actual relation is the purity, truth, communion and unity of the two souls.18. I was present at all its stages, so that the topic will become clear and conspicuous, and the ground for the later subjects is levelled. All that should be endeavoured is to lessen this distance and disharmony, so that it reaches the lowest possible limit. It is said about. But it must be considered explicitly at its own place. yes, if the likes of Khadija (a.s) and Mohammad (S) appear, they would be the matches of each other and their marriage would be blessing and prosperity, although they may be various in respect of age and wealth. Stipulating Conditions in Marriage Contracts in Islam: Allowed? SAHIH MUSLIM, BOOK 8: The Book Of Marriage (KITAB AL-NIKAH) Regretfully, some weak-minded girls are deceived by the false promises of these glib-tongued impostors and they lose their honour and modesty on the hope of finding a felicitous marriage. Any other use of the hosted content, such as for financial gain, requires express approval from the copyright owners. But an attempt should be made to lessen and reduce this distance to a minimum, so that the two spouses are as close to each other as possible. But when Zaid had accomplished his want of her, We gave her to you as a wife.. (Holy Quran, Sura al-Ahzaab, 33:37). , . Rather it means modesty, purity and religiousness. Indeed, a truly religious woman would have a good character, as her faith would prevent her from evil in speech, whether through hurtful words or gossip, and actions. Ahlul Bayt Digital Islamic Library Project 1995-2023, . Thats why Allah legislated for us the system of marriage, which regulates these instincts to achieve a higher purpose. And this event took shape at the expense of a victim and that was their child. What we describe is on the basis of majority. Foreword by His Eminence Professor Jafar Subhani, Man and Woman: Enhancements of Each Other, Spouse: The Sign of Allahs Wisdom and Source of Mans Comfort, Marriage: The Improver of the Value of Mans Practices, Discussion with a Friend in this Connection, Chapter Three: The Merits of Timely a Marriage and Demerits of its Delay, 1- Securing and Strengthening True Faith and Spiritualism, 2- Benefiting and Enjoying a Sweet and Cheerful Youth, 3- Remaining Pure From Corruption and Sexual Deviations, 4- Safety from Nervous and Spiritual Diseases, Chapter Four: Difficulties and Hurdles of Marriage, First Difficulty: Economic and Monetary Difficulty, The Good News Given By The Leaders of Islam, 6. But if their wives did not remain contented and pressurized them and demanded more, those scholars could not have been ascetics.. How Does a Muslim Get Married? | About Islam We, at the end of this chapter, shall again talk about it. This factor too had quite and effect and role in their differences and conflicts. And only a relation can have such a quality, which is establishes on two pillars; that is the same two forms of love, which have previously been defined. The main reason why most unlawful marriages are unlawful is that they hinder or destroy the purpose of marriage itself. Shall they remain unmarried? Neither of them would step down from the height of his opinion and approach, and conventionally, neither of the two gave in to the other's yoke. Is it permissible for a woman to have criteria other than being religious-commited when accepting a marriage proposal? Is it alright to marry a non-religious person just to please your parents, but you are forbidden to instruct her in Islam, its obligations and prohibitions? It is thus defined as the compatibility or equivalence between a prospective husband and his prospective wife which should be adhered to. Prophet, Mohammed (PBUH) describedMarriage as a sort of worship by which the husband and wife can get closer to their Creator, and gain countless rewards. One man married a Thayyib expecting she can serve some children amongst his relatives. Choose the one who is religious, lest your hands be rubbed with dust! Many spouses have been seen to be pushed into a state of misery and destruction due to an imbalance and lack of homogeneity. IMPORTANT : All content hosted onAl-Islam.orgis solely for non-commercial purposes and with the permission of original copyright holders. 2. He married another girl. If they do not slip at this stage crossing and traversing, then the other phases would be easy. But their lives would never be successful. Analytical cookies are used to understand how visitors interact with the website. The cookie is set by GDPR cookie consent to record the user consent for the cookies in the category "Functional". Attention to the harmony in the beauty of the face and figure between the two spouses is also necessary. According to Islam, the first criterion of the most eligible person to marry is having faith and being pious; In other words, the candidate should have a firm belief in Allah and the principles of Islam. Then it is observed that the real and actual cause of all the discomforts is this very point. Keep learning and improving them and Allah will give a worthy and good partner. Shall I marry my daughter to him or not? 1- A portion of the answer to this question has been equality and homogeneity; meaning, if everyone selects his counterpart and proportional spouse, only very few will remain spouseless. Moreover, they are constraining factors in playing the perfect role of a spouse. Can the youth and spouses be overlooked, not given information, defenseless in the wake of this important matter and essential need? In this kind of love, a person's inclinations are toward the lofty values. One cannot fight that all his life and vigorously combat against it. The thought and belief among some people that if such and such a person is married, he could be set right and correct is not true always and for everyone. The questions asked: So what was it that Moawiyah (Allah's curse be upon him) possessed?. But if these conditions are not fulfilled, then marriage will be null and void. Connect and share knowledge within a single location that is structured and easy to search. If one of the two spouses is sexually and physically strong, having a fervent and fiery passion and the other one is weak and frigid, most of the matters of their life become upset and unbalanced. Of course, they may not drop the idea also. As for the particular characteristics of a righteous marriage prospect, the best of mankind, the Prophet, Would you like me to tell you about the best treasure a man could have? We use cookies on our website to give you the most relevant experience by remembering your preferences and repeat visits. And good women (are) for good men and good men (are) for good women.